Stir Crazy

My WoW time is almost up, and I doubt I'll be going back to it.

I am 10% away from 82 in Lineage 2 and I really just don't feel like logging on.

Currently only three people have entered the "Miss World" pageant thingie on FB, and I'm super excited to get the ball rolling. I really wish more people would post so that I wouldn't be so bored.
I'm going insane stuck in this house. I can't take it anymore. I'm getting very temperamental and moody. Everything stupid someone says, I'll get extremely frustrated. I need to get out of this house for awhile. The bad thing is, I can't go for a walk. There is nowhere to walk to, and no one to walk with me. I hate long walks alone in the country. It's cold, and I have bad circulation, no winter coat, and no fat on my body to keep me warm. I hate the outdoors. Why can't it be summer?

I'm annoyed with all these self-proclaimed "authors" of sim legacies that can't spell or write for shit. I can understand those who don't speak English as a first language. Americans, go get an education! You can't be an author without an editor. OOPS! I'm sorry. I shouldn't be rude, no matter how moody I am...

"Miss World" sim contest up next...

Recently I joined a Sims 3 contest, the FB link can be found on my other blog here. Oops. Fail link. Oh, well.

Been playing WoW too much I think. Not sure if I'll go back to it after my free time is up. Only need 10% for level 82 in Lineage 2 and I really don't want to party with randoms anymore.

Ryan is in Milwaukee until Thursday. I think mom wants to pick him up on Saturday instead. Not sure. He says he is getting me a teddy bear. I don't blame him, I still sleep with the bear my ex gave me. Take heed that it's not because I want him in my arms, it's because I need something in my arms. *YES! I sleep with a teddy bear!*

I've been looking at ball-joint-dolls on dreamofdoll.com lately. They're so gorgeous! I want them! I love dolls.

Currently I'm in the middle of decorating my Sim's house (Lia)... Just have the entire thing to go. I want to finish it before I go to sleep. Of course, it's so late that I forgot to attach pictures to a contest email. Fail. It's so late that when I re-read the things I write, they get all jumbled up and it looks like I wrote a ton of typos, which I didn't.

I have been encouraged to continue writing Hope is a Thing of Feathers. As soon as Ryan gets back I will be looking at what I can do for it. I am planning on going back through and rewriting some things, as it goes pretty quickly. I need more pages in the chapters.

The other day I was tugging on Ryan's hoodie. (Can't remember if I've said this)... Well, my left index finger nail tore off of my finger. It's still cracked half-way down the nail, waiting for it to grow out so I can clip it. It's happened before though, it's not like I'm not used to it. Color guard.

We're not lizards

I found out that WoW is giving out free 7 days play time for the game, so I am working on getting that right now... Will post screenies in the future. I hope this doesn't impede on my work towards 85 in L2. For the next week or so I will be working on my characters, just because I'll have the time.
I also am thinking about joining a roleplay thread in a forum in the IMVU groups. I haven't done that in a long while, need to brush up.

I am not trying out for show choir, this is my final decision. I was not able to work out rides with my friend, and I will probably be too busy anyway. At least I can audition for the musical, that should be fun. It's been announced that it's City of Angels. Never heard of it. Let's roll.

I've always said that WoW has terrible graphics, but now that I really look at them, they're worse than I thought. Oh, well.

Title story: I was talking to Ryan and he stuck his tongue out at me. I told him we're not lizards and he said "yes we are."
No. Just no.

All I want to do is sing today

So, what ever happened to separation of church and state?

These posters are all over the school. Now, I wouldn't have a problem with them, but bible verses? Come on. I thought we weren't supposed to condone religions? Though they do have new posters up now that just have peace signs and minimal text, no "god" included. Hopefully those shown above are removed soon, or I might have to have a talk with an authority about it.

I may have worked out some rides to show choir rehearsals, so now all I have to do is audition. I think I may have figured out a song, too. I was stuck between Gravity - Sara Bareilles, Whenever, Wherever - Shakira, and She Wolf - Shakira. I looked at What the Hell - Avril Lavigne for a while, but Whenever, Wherever was the winner. The reason being that it gives more room for freedom of style. What the Hell does as well, with lots of high notes (my range) but Whenever, Wherever really speaks to me, and I believe that's important.
My only issue is that I can't dance unless it's choreographed for me, and even then it takes me longer to learn. Whenever I have to memorize something like that, it takes me longer than most people. Take colorguard, for example. To memorize routines for that, I wrote down everything plenty of times, over and over again. I took sheets of paper with the routine on it and worked on it for hours at home. I can see myself needing to do that with show choir, which is okay, because at least I put in the time and effort for the things I do. I am always working at improving my performance life.

Lately in Lineage 2 I've been super lazy, but have gotten plenty of quest guides done. I am almost level 82, and would be, but Ryan likes attention. Sometime tonight I will be working on a new sim (out of boredom, of course).

Happy Chriskwanzikkule! That's christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and Yule put together. I celebrate Yule. If you Google it, you'll see that christmas actually stole a lot of tradition from the traditional Pagan Yule. Yule log, decorated tree. Funny, how Paganism was the first religion and a majority of the US doesn't know what it is. Even better, some ridicule it. You're ridiculing your ancestors.

Cake!

First, I would like to let all the girls who have been flirting with Ryan know that I know that, and who, they are, so you can just back off right now.

After the holiday break, I will be learning french horn. I'm excited, french horn is such a pretty instrument!

I'm really sad that I won't be able to do show choir. All I want to do is get better at what I do, which is performing. It will also help prepare me for college. It's too bad my mom doesn't see that.

Tonight I will be watching season 3 of Dexter with Ryan, because he's only ever seen the season six episodes. The finale is on Sunday! Super duper excited! And really scared, because apparently Travis is supposed to kill Dexter's son. Or try to. I feel really bad for Dexter, everyone goes after him sooner or later. And what is Deb up to? Some creepy shit going on there. Especially since in real life the two recently divorced... Awkwarrrrrd.

I'm making cake right now! I'm very excited for the break, and can't wait to start writing again. Maybe I could even start one of my paint projects, or start memorizing fingerings for the french horn. I will most likely go shopping, too. I want a pikachu hat.

Concert on Monday! Jazz band opens, very very excited. I love all of the activities I've been in lately. I'm looking at going to Columbus in Chicago, the performing arts school. All of this extra stuff is really helping me towards that, not only in credit but also in how I perform.

Eff my scanner

So I'm working with some of my scanned pictures and they are just not turning out right. The scanner mutilated them. I went to sharpen them and they got this weird green film over them. Argh. I won't ever be using my mother's scanner ever ever ever again. Either she doesn't know how to use it or it just sucks. You can see how bad it is here: www.kattster.deviantart.com

That's what I've been doing as of late. It seems I'm always doing something different, with EOGamer and L2 on the weekends and art in my free time, and now I'm looking at auditioning for show choir, whilst being in art club, chamber choir, and jazz band. I might have too much on my plate. But there's just so much...
I might not be able to do show choir though. I asked my mom about it, because practices will mostly be in the morning. Before my bus gets there. (angry face, bus getting there at 7:45 in the friggin morning, I ain't got time to do nothin')... She refuses to drive me. Betcha' if it were Jenny askin' she'd do it. Stupid brat. Anyway, I am still going to audition, as the next driver's ed classes start in January, I think, and I could work something out with my mom until then. Or someone else. Of course, if I start driving, I'll have the car all day, and mom couldn't do anything until I got home. Why would she let me drive to school? (angry face again! too poor to own three vehicles.)
So BASICALLY show choir is any rich performer's dream, and eff anyone else. This annoys me to bits.

Dear "mom"

Dear mom,
I'm sorry that you had a bad day, and that you have to take it out on me as if it's my fault. I'm sorry you were too lazy to check your text messages about the time that I had to be at the school tonight. I'm sorry that I try to do nice things, like playing the Natl. Anthem for the basketball game tonight. I'm sorry that you take my explaining myself as attitude.
But guess what?
I had a bad day, too. Don't think everyone else is immune to stress, just like you. I had to babysit some freshman today, and take snotty attitudes from them, too. But hey, I did the adult thing and came up with a solution, instead of yelling and blaming people, like you do... And you call me immature? I'm sorry that when I explain myself I am stating facts. I'm sorry that when you know you're wrong, you have to go and make everything my fault.
I told you the time. I contacted you. You're just stupid.

Anyway. In art club today, some freshman were talking to everyone about some ideas they had. They had some GREAT ideas! I even thanked them for it, because they were some super awesome ideas. What did they have to say about my thanks?
"Yeah, well, we're just trying to do something for art club," as if no one else was doing everything. They were taking down names of who wasn't listening.
Now, being the VP of art club, this didn't make me very happy. I know we haven't done much for fundraising, but this is my first year. But they didn't have to be snotty about everything everyone said. They acted as if they were in charge, and not our supervisor.
One of our members turned in a T-shirt design, which I was so grateful for. She is the only one to have turned one in so far. One of the freshman came up and looked at it. In a very snobby voice, she said:
"Why are you turning that picture in? This is art, not music."
I explained to her very politely, and smiling, "Well, music is a part of art."
Her response? "Well, duhh."
I wanted to scream at her. But no, I let it slide, for that moment. After focus was over I talked to the supervisor about it. She said she noticed. I told her I was tired of them acting like they were the authority figures, and having snobby attitudes about everyone else's opinions. My biggest issue is, I even thanked them for their ideas and what they were doing, and they blew me off with sarcasm and snotty lines. I am tired of having to deal with this type of B.S. These are the same people who, last week, were talking through the entire meeting, and made the vote last 25 minutes more than it should have because they were not paying attention.
Well, guess what girls? The next time we are taking a vote, and you don't participate because you're too busy giggling over gossip, you won't be included.

I'm done dealing with stuff like that. And I'm sorry freshman, but that just feeds the stereotype we sophomores, juniors, and seniors see.

Why can't we all just grow up a little?

I just want Mexican food

I feel super-duper accomplished today! I got four quest guides done for EOGamer and made a DeviantArt account.
I have also been doing some weird stuff in GIMP, just 'cause I got bored and all. After a long week of school and madrigal, I've hardly used today as some time to myself. Anyway, my latest creation:

I did not make the body. I added the hair and clothing. I was going to do the eyes, but by then I had already worked on it for hours, I got super lazy. I might go back and do the eyes later on. They'll be green. I've been feeling like drawing a lot lately, and have the plans down for a new painting that I'm going to do when I get my holiday money. (my parents are weird. I tell them I don't celebrate Christmas, and yet they attempt to get me involved anyway. I said to my mom once, "if you really want to spend money on me, just give me the money."... I got a check for $160, and an Alice in Wonderland coloring book. Meanwhile, my six year old sister got a flatscreen, and some other expensive things. All-in-all, they spent about 300-400$ on my siblings each.) So now I just get money. When I do, I will be getting myself some new paintbrushes and oil paints. If I have enough left over I'll go to the mall and get myself a Pikachu hat, and maybe even a hoodie. Just because I love Pikachu. I look horrid in yellow, but I love me some Pikachu. I also want a panda dress.

It's so cute. Or I might get Skyrim. I want to get Ryan something, but I can say anything on here, because someone might tell him. 

Title story: All day today, I have just wanted Mexican food. I really want to go to Cinco De Mayo and have shrimp and crab enchiladas or something, you know? I even made a FB post about it. I just really want Mexican food right now.

I wrote a song

I haven't been posting a lot, and I apologize greatly for it. I will not be able to post tonight so I will after school. I have Madrigal decorating all night, and Saturday I'm not at my house until like, 8 or 9 at night. Maybe even later. The cool thing is, I got my lines memorized. I've been napping a lot, and paying a lot of attention to Ryan and other things. Sunday I will have all day at my computer.

Anyway, in creative writing we wrote poems that needed to include color and imagery. I wrote mine and got a random tune stuck in my head. I guess it's a song now.

Within contemplation I see you cry
Hanging your head in shame
Your tears stream clear from
Obvious grief, paralyzing me, for you

I cannot take when you look at me so
It makes my heart break just to see you go
Remember the colors of the sunset we saw
And the pink carnations you brought me, love

Forever crying for you, I need to let go, now
Our hearts are entangled like my old jewelry
And I miss your blue eyes with gentle gleam
But wee need to realize we're not meant to be

I cannot take when you look at me so
It makes my heart break just to see you go
Remember the colors of the sunset we saw
And the pink carnations you brought me, love



... I think it's pretty. Hopefully sometime I can sit down with a piano and figure out what's in my head.

To Sim, or Not to Sim

Here's a quick reminder that there is a poll on the left hand side of the page about my Sims. Cast a vote, because if it's no, I'm going to uninstall the Sims. I will eventually re-install it, but right now, it's giving me a headache.

I've been a bit lazy the past couple days, and the only way I can really describe it is exhaustion. I'm in the middle of art class right now, and even though I should be looking up political or social issues that matter to me for an art project, I already have an issue that I know plenty about. Gay marriage. That's what I'm doing my art project on. I have a pretty good idea for it too. So, there's nothing to really do... The teacher says it's 'cause we have issues coming up with issues. To be honest, it's just the rest of the class. When she told us to draw a political or social issue that was tied to us, I drew a lesbian couple in wedding dresses. Everyone else misunderstood (I can't imagine how) and drew phones, tennis balls, and basketballs (etc). I had to explain to the entire class what a peace activist is. Seriously? Our education system screwed up somewhere.

Goddess of Destruction

Today was almost completely uneventful. We worked on Madrigal for a bit during choir, which went well and was rather exciting. I came home and napped. I needed a nap. The only thing I did on L2 was a kama, and now I'm considering going back to sleep.
Poor Ryan. He keeps getting his Runescape account hacked. I swear he was literally just logged onto RS not even half an hour ago, and it got hacked in between now and then. This kid gets hacked, seriously, at least once a week, if not more. I feel so bad.

Picture time!

This is the new Talking Island. The architecture is amazing...

This chick reminds me of Winrey Rockbell from Full Metal Alchemist. I love that show.

Looking up at the Talking Island museum...

Birdie! It's a mount.

More gorgeous architecture. This is a hunting spot. I love the glowie stuff they put in the stone. Makes it very "giant" like.


and now I can't get the text to work, so I'm still in a caption. Rage face!

Let's try this. Okay! Anyway, this update really excites me. Also, I have some new ideas for my story, so I will definitely start writing again. But not this weekend. I'm busy this weekend. 

Does it make me weird that I somehow enjoy nightmares? Like, I'm the biggest scaredy-katt I know, but somehow, I like nightmares. I'm so weird. Someday, I'm going to end up in a room with a counselor, and my mom, having to explain why I write such dark things, why I like nightmares, and why I think about stuff like that. It's not because I'm a death-obsessed chick (and really, what's it their business if I am? Look at Poe. He inspired the world, even if he was crazy). It's because it's inspirational stuff. It's graphic. I like graphic.

I found my skull dreamcatcher today. It's so pretty. It's blood red, with a skull in the middle of it, and ribbons with black beads are hanging off of it. It's hanging from my ceiling fan. I don't necessarily think dream catchers get rid of bad dreams. They're just super pretty to hang up. 

Originally, I had fourteen pictures to put up on this blog, but I got bored with waiting for them to load. Apologies, aplenty. 

I feel like I'm just going to uninstall the Sims 3 for now. I mean, I don't use it as much at all, it's just taking up space on my computer, and it keeps screwing up anyway. I would like to make more sims, and perhaps I should start uploading the .package files to mediafire before uninstalling stuff, just so I have them, and can share. But damn, this game is just making me frustrated. Stupid CAS. 

I will put a poll up.

I'm antsy

Currently, I am in the middle of class. For some reason, I just really don't want to be here. Could have something to do with it being a Monday. All I really want to do is play Lineage II. I'm bored. I've typed up an improv for my short story assignment, with only one error. One. I'm not reprinting it. I have some other assignments printed out, too. I have my story for the video game all typed up. I just deprive myself of things to do, don't I?
Anywho, back to class, I s'pose. There may be some pictures later.

He is my dream, within this nightmare

Today, as any other day, was not so eventful. Besides making a new friend and stuff. I got an exp party in Lineage 2 earlier and then I had to leave because Ryan wanted attention. Not that that's a bad thing. It's just super duper hard to get into exp parties now-a-days. I'm also trying to get him to do his Psych homework, and he's calling me a hypocrite because I'm not doing my own homework. Technically, right now, I am. (guilty face)

Improv!

This is the month that I dread so much
To be near that date again,
When I started my fate to meet you
Perhaps I regret that touch


I can't bear to think of how we met
You, the one who hurt me so,
Yet I want it more,
For I cannot forget


We forged our love in stone
Now we work to destroy it...
I cannot help but scream in my head
Please, please come home


Yeah. I'm just a little bit on the dark side. I'm thinking it's either 1.) because I choose a subject to write about and just write about it a lot or 2.) Damnit, why did he send his stupid friend to persecute me? I hate when people do that. They can't man-up and talk to me themselves, they always have their buddies do it. It makes me an angry salamander. And that should only make sense to me at this very moment, just don't question it and your brain won't explode. Promise.

I've been so lazy lately. I've also figured out why I'm so tired all the time. Apparently, I'm a lucid dreamer. I explained my ability to control what goes on in my dreams and Ryan told me it was lucid dreaming. I guess that makes me tired? Not sure. Somehow, it makes sense. Somehow.

I have recently learned that my friend Zane's name comes from the Hebrew name "John"...what? And I hate my name. Sarah. It's just dumb. That's why I go by Katt. Who the hell came up with Sarah anyway? Some idiot. It's just a retarded name.

What else is dumb? Hmm... I think, the Spanish language is dumb. It's just... Pointless. Like, someone spoke gibberish, wrote down the vowels and consonants they heard and VOILA! "Spanish!" ... No, it's gibberish. It's such a cliche language. Like, I don't even want to learn Spanish, but it's all the school offers. I want  to learn German really badly, and the school was going to offer ITV classes for it, but then some teacher wanted to use that room for the Ho-Chunk language instead. No offense against that language, but when am I going to use Ho-Chunk anyway? I'm moving to Chicago for college, and will be in New York for Broadway. German will be used much more frequently. If the school would offer more languages for ITV, it would open up way more variety. Let's face it, no one is going to use the Ho-Chunk language outside of Wisconsin unless it's to confuse someone with fancy throat noises. Sorry. That's how I feel. Though I think it's a great way to learn the cultures of our area. But high school is about preparation for college and life beyond. So sad.

I think German is a beautiful language. And please, don't be ignorant and say it sounds gross and French sounds pretty. Just don't. French sounds all nasally and gross, and German is quite pretty. It just depends which German you're speaking. Low class or high class? It's not all throaty.

Oh goodness, I've rambled long enough. I have not worked on my story at all. I do still have to write that short story for class. I hope he doesn't mind if it's fantasy. I really hate doing reality stories. I hate it. And damnit, I will bend the rules if I want!
I've noticed that lately I've just been really nonchalant about test answers and assignments. Like for one answer on a question about Malcom X and the KKK I wrote: "Malcom X's father was killed by white idiots because" blah blah blah. I'm just done with giving all loopy wrapped around answers for everything. If I can write something, and get straight to the point about it, I'm good. Downgrade me if you want. I will never ask questions about what to write down, and what the teacher wants to see. I just won't. I write down what I want, and if someone has an issue with it, it's their problem. That's how I feel.

Title story: It's just so true <3

Familiar taste of poison

So I've been playing L2 all day, again. I managed to get about 4% within 20 minutes, which is fairly good for a level 81+. For some reason I can't take as much damage as I used to, and I'm wondering if this update nerfed VR or something. I was killing the orcs at the entrance of CoD and my health was just gone. I used to VR it all back but now it's just... Ugh. Yeah.

Ryan went to help his brother move today, and it got to be too late to go and pick him up, what with this snow and all. My car was swooshing back and forth on the road, and mom couldn't see anything. She got to the highway and turned around. He's staying at a friend's house. Sad face. He missed enchiladas! Yummy-in-my-tummilee enchiladas! With Pepsi.

Not too much to really say. Haven't been working on the story at all, from lack of inspiration, and I have to think about a different story, for class. I have, however, written some folklore for the video game I am working on. I'm also supposed to start quest guides for the GoD update. (which is going to suck, because the newbie quests suck, and I hate them very much so. Oh, well.)

I promised my dog earlier that I'd dedicate a section of this post to him. (I know, I'm so weird, but I love my dog.)

Here's buster:

This is the most recent picture of him. I love my dog so much. He can high five! Don't ask how I taught him that. He's around 10 years old. Prob 11 by now. For a poodle his heart is in perfect condition, and he's perfectly healthy. So weird.

Title story: Familiar Taste of Poison is a song by Halestorm. It speaks so much truth about my life.

Drink the wine my darling, you said
Take your time and consume all of it
But the roses were only to drain my inspiration
The promises were spoiled before they left your lips and

I breathe you in again
Just to feel you underneath my skin
Holding onto the sweet escape
Is always laced with a familiar taste of poison

I tell myself that you're are no good for me
I wish you well but desire never leaves
I could fight this to the end

But maybe I don't wanna win

I love this song. It makes so much sense to me. Halestorm is also great game-play music. Might do another improv-poem tomorrow. Yes, the most recent ones are truth, about someone I used to be very close to. 

You disgust me

A million vomits

You can’t be angry

Because you left.

Now you eat alone,

My joyful vibe gone from your side

You say I hurt you

You have no idea

What pain is to me

You’re a liar.

My mind now races,

Reaches for something to say

Can’t explain how you’ve hurt me so

But you deserve this pain

When I see you log on

I vomit a million vomits

Your excuses, your lies

Your silent voice, it kills me

As much as I hate you

In that hate there is passion

And in passion is love

I cannot let go

So you eat alone

Because I wouldn’t walk

Because you wouldn’t nap

Because you’re clueless

You eat alone, in silence, at work

At your 120 hour-a-week job

That you blame me for

It was your choice to leave

All I ever asked

Was that you help yourself

But now you eat alone

Because that is your curse

You cursed yourself, fool

Don’t you see?

You can’t blame me for your idiocy…

Take it back, the ring you gave

Eat the pain you think you have

While you’re eating your In&Out, alone.

Eat my heart, instead of choking on it

Get it over with.

Stop tugging the arrow, embedded in my chest

Stop wriggling it around

Just impale my heart already

Stop this endless torture, my lost fiance

The only reason you’re hurting

Is because you know you’re wrong

As you eat alone, I know

That you think about what we used to be.

I just wrote that for creative writing. The assignment was to write a poem about eating alone or diving into water. Well, since I'm a hydrophobe, I chose eating alone. (laugh-out-loud).

So, I finished my Lineage 2 download after FIFTEEN hours last night. I finally logged on this morning and had to leave for school. The cool thing is, I found out I get like 6 more holy pomanders. Maybe more, I didn't count. I can also get the heal skill Balance Life for my EE sub. I'm so excited about that. I'm wondering, though, if I'm able to go to Ivory Tower still to do that, or if I have to go to the museum. This would be nice to know, since I do guides for EOgamer. I guess I'll figure it out. I am only level 81 on my duelist right now, and since I have conferences tonight I won't be able to do much until later on. A friend and I are hoping on getting a Giant's Cave group together, since he's around 81 as well. My Doomcryer is only 80 yet, so hopefully this weekend will be fruitful.

I have to stop now, but I will post later, more on the GoD update.