I wrote a song

I haven't been posting a lot, and I apologize greatly for it. I will not be able to post tonight so I will after school. I have Madrigal decorating all night, and Saturday I'm not at my house until like, 8 or 9 at night. Maybe even later. The cool thing is, I got my lines memorized. I've been napping a lot, and paying a lot of attention to Ryan and other things. Sunday I will have all day at my computer.

Anyway, in creative writing we wrote poems that needed to include color and imagery. I wrote mine and got a random tune stuck in my head. I guess it's a song now.

Within contemplation I see you cry
Hanging your head in shame
Your tears stream clear from
Obvious grief, paralyzing me, for you

I cannot take when you look at me so
It makes my heart break just to see you go
Remember the colors of the sunset we saw
And the pink carnations you brought me, love

Forever crying for you, I need to let go, now
Our hearts are entangled like my old jewelry
And I miss your blue eyes with gentle gleam
But wee need to realize we're not meant to be

I cannot take when you look at me so
It makes my heart break just to see you go
Remember the colors of the sunset we saw
And the pink carnations you brought me, love



... I think it's pretty. Hopefully sometime I can sit down with a piano and figure out what's in my head.

To Sim, or Not to Sim

Here's a quick reminder that there is a poll on the left hand side of the page about my Sims. Cast a vote, because if it's no, I'm going to uninstall the Sims. I will eventually re-install it, but right now, it's giving me a headache.

I've been a bit lazy the past couple days, and the only way I can really describe it is exhaustion. I'm in the middle of art class right now, and even though I should be looking up political or social issues that matter to me for an art project, I already have an issue that I know plenty about. Gay marriage. That's what I'm doing my art project on. I have a pretty good idea for it too. So, there's nothing to really do... The teacher says it's 'cause we have issues coming up with issues. To be honest, it's just the rest of the class. When she told us to draw a political or social issue that was tied to us, I drew a lesbian couple in wedding dresses. Everyone else misunderstood (I can't imagine how) and drew phones, tennis balls, and basketballs (etc). I had to explain to the entire class what a peace activist is. Seriously? Our education system screwed up somewhere.

Goddess of Destruction

Today was almost completely uneventful. We worked on Madrigal for a bit during choir, which went well and was rather exciting. I came home and napped. I needed a nap. The only thing I did on L2 was a kama, and now I'm considering going back to sleep.
Poor Ryan. He keeps getting his Runescape account hacked. I swear he was literally just logged onto RS not even half an hour ago, and it got hacked in between now and then. This kid gets hacked, seriously, at least once a week, if not more. I feel so bad.

Picture time!

This is the new Talking Island. The architecture is amazing...

This chick reminds me of Winrey Rockbell from Full Metal Alchemist. I love that show.

Looking up at the Talking Island museum...

Birdie! It's a mount.

More gorgeous architecture. This is a hunting spot. I love the glowie stuff they put in the stone. Makes it very "giant" like.


and now I can't get the text to work, so I'm still in a caption. Rage face!

Let's try this. Okay! Anyway, this update really excites me. Also, I have some new ideas for my story, so I will definitely start writing again. But not this weekend. I'm busy this weekend. 

Does it make me weird that I somehow enjoy nightmares? Like, I'm the biggest scaredy-katt I know, but somehow, I like nightmares. I'm so weird. Someday, I'm going to end up in a room with a counselor, and my mom, having to explain why I write such dark things, why I like nightmares, and why I think about stuff like that. It's not because I'm a death-obsessed chick (and really, what's it their business if I am? Look at Poe. He inspired the world, even if he was crazy). It's because it's inspirational stuff. It's graphic. I like graphic.

I found my skull dreamcatcher today. It's so pretty. It's blood red, with a skull in the middle of it, and ribbons with black beads are hanging off of it. It's hanging from my ceiling fan. I don't necessarily think dream catchers get rid of bad dreams. They're just super pretty to hang up. 

Originally, I had fourteen pictures to put up on this blog, but I got bored with waiting for them to load. Apologies, aplenty. 

I feel like I'm just going to uninstall the Sims 3 for now. I mean, I don't use it as much at all, it's just taking up space on my computer, and it keeps screwing up anyway. I would like to make more sims, and perhaps I should start uploading the .package files to mediafire before uninstalling stuff, just so I have them, and can share. But damn, this game is just making me frustrated. Stupid CAS. 

I will put a poll up.

I'm antsy

Currently, I am in the middle of class. For some reason, I just really don't want to be here. Could have something to do with it being a Monday. All I really want to do is play Lineage II. I'm bored. I've typed up an improv for my short story assignment, with only one error. One. I'm not reprinting it. I have some other assignments printed out, too. I have my story for the video game all typed up. I just deprive myself of things to do, don't I?
Anywho, back to class, I s'pose. There may be some pictures later.

He is my dream, within this nightmare

Today, as any other day, was not so eventful. Besides making a new friend and stuff. I got an exp party in Lineage 2 earlier and then I had to leave because Ryan wanted attention. Not that that's a bad thing. It's just super duper hard to get into exp parties now-a-days. I'm also trying to get him to do his Psych homework, and he's calling me a hypocrite because I'm not doing my own homework. Technically, right now, I am. (guilty face)

Improv!

This is the month that I dread so much
To be near that date again,
When I started my fate to meet you
Perhaps I regret that touch


I can't bear to think of how we met
You, the one who hurt me so,
Yet I want it more,
For I cannot forget


We forged our love in stone
Now we work to destroy it...
I cannot help but scream in my head
Please, please come home


Yeah. I'm just a little bit on the dark side. I'm thinking it's either 1.) because I choose a subject to write about and just write about it a lot or 2.) Damnit, why did he send his stupid friend to persecute me? I hate when people do that. They can't man-up and talk to me themselves, they always have their buddies do it. It makes me an angry salamander. And that should only make sense to me at this very moment, just don't question it and your brain won't explode. Promise.

I've been so lazy lately. I've also figured out why I'm so tired all the time. Apparently, I'm a lucid dreamer. I explained my ability to control what goes on in my dreams and Ryan told me it was lucid dreaming. I guess that makes me tired? Not sure. Somehow, it makes sense. Somehow.

I have recently learned that my friend Zane's name comes from the Hebrew name "John"...what? And I hate my name. Sarah. It's just dumb. That's why I go by Katt. Who the hell came up with Sarah anyway? Some idiot. It's just a retarded name.

What else is dumb? Hmm... I think, the Spanish language is dumb. It's just... Pointless. Like, someone spoke gibberish, wrote down the vowels and consonants they heard and VOILA! "Spanish!" ... No, it's gibberish. It's such a cliche language. Like, I don't even want to learn Spanish, but it's all the school offers. I want  to learn German really badly, and the school was going to offer ITV classes for it, but then some teacher wanted to use that room for the Ho-Chunk language instead. No offense against that language, but when am I going to use Ho-Chunk anyway? I'm moving to Chicago for college, and will be in New York for Broadway. German will be used much more frequently. If the school would offer more languages for ITV, it would open up way more variety. Let's face it, no one is going to use the Ho-Chunk language outside of Wisconsin unless it's to confuse someone with fancy throat noises. Sorry. That's how I feel. Though I think it's a great way to learn the cultures of our area. But high school is about preparation for college and life beyond. So sad.

I think German is a beautiful language. And please, don't be ignorant and say it sounds gross and French sounds pretty. Just don't. French sounds all nasally and gross, and German is quite pretty. It just depends which German you're speaking. Low class or high class? It's not all throaty.

Oh goodness, I've rambled long enough. I have not worked on my story at all. I do still have to write that short story for class. I hope he doesn't mind if it's fantasy. I really hate doing reality stories. I hate it. And damnit, I will bend the rules if I want!
I've noticed that lately I've just been really nonchalant about test answers and assignments. Like for one answer on a question about Malcom X and the KKK I wrote: "Malcom X's father was killed by white idiots because" blah blah blah. I'm just done with giving all loopy wrapped around answers for everything. If I can write something, and get straight to the point about it, I'm good. Downgrade me if you want. I will never ask questions about what to write down, and what the teacher wants to see. I just won't. I write down what I want, and if someone has an issue with it, it's their problem. That's how I feel.

Title story: It's just so true <3

Familiar taste of poison

So I've been playing L2 all day, again. I managed to get about 4% within 20 minutes, which is fairly good for a level 81+. For some reason I can't take as much damage as I used to, and I'm wondering if this update nerfed VR or something. I was killing the orcs at the entrance of CoD and my health was just gone. I used to VR it all back but now it's just... Ugh. Yeah.

Ryan went to help his brother move today, and it got to be too late to go and pick him up, what with this snow and all. My car was swooshing back and forth on the road, and mom couldn't see anything. She got to the highway and turned around. He's staying at a friend's house. Sad face. He missed enchiladas! Yummy-in-my-tummilee enchiladas! With Pepsi.

Not too much to really say. Haven't been working on the story at all, from lack of inspiration, and I have to think about a different story, for class. I have, however, written some folklore for the video game I am working on. I'm also supposed to start quest guides for the GoD update. (which is going to suck, because the newbie quests suck, and I hate them very much so. Oh, well.)

I promised my dog earlier that I'd dedicate a section of this post to him. (I know, I'm so weird, but I love my dog.)

Here's buster:

This is the most recent picture of him. I love my dog so much. He can high five! Don't ask how I taught him that. He's around 10 years old. Prob 11 by now. For a poodle his heart is in perfect condition, and he's perfectly healthy. So weird.

Title story: Familiar Taste of Poison is a song by Halestorm. It speaks so much truth about my life.

Drink the wine my darling, you said
Take your time and consume all of it
But the roses were only to drain my inspiration
The promises were spoiled before they left your lips and

I breathe you in again
Just to feel you underneath my skin
Holding onto the sweet escape
Is always laced with a familiar taste of poison

I tell myself that you're are no good for me
I wish you well but desire never leaves
I could fight this to the end

But maybe I don't wanna win

I love this song. It makes so much sense to me. Halestorm is also great game-play music. Might do another improv-poem tomorrow. Yes, the most recent ones are truth, about someone I used to be very close to. 

You disgust me

A million vomits

You can’t be angry

Because you left.

Now you eat alone,

My joyful vibe gone from your side

You say I hurt you

You have no idea

What pain is to me

You’re a liar.

My mind now races,

Reaches for something to say

Can’t explain how you’ve hurt me so

But you deserve this pain

When I see you log on

I vomit a million vomits

Your excuses, your lies

Your silent voice, it kills me

As much as I hate you

In that hate there is passion

And in passion is love

I cannot let go

So you eat alone

Because I wouldn’t walk

Because you wouldn’t nap

Because you’re clueless

You eat alone, in silence, at work

At your 120 hour-a-week job

That you blame me for

It was your choice to leave

All I ever asked

Was that you help yourself

But now you eat alone

Because that is your curse

You cursed yourself, fool

Don’t you see?

You can’t blame me for your idiocy…

Take it back, the ring you gave

Eat the pain you think you have

While you’re eating your In&Out, alone.

Eat my heart, instead of choking on it

Get it over with.

Stop tugging the arrow, embedded in my chest

Stop wriggling it around

Just impale my heart already

Stop this endless torture, my lost fiance

The only reason you’re hurting

Is because you know you’re wrong

As you eat alone, I know

That you think about what we used to be.

I just wrote that for creative writing. The assignment was to write a poem about eating alone or diving into water. Well, since I'm a hydrophobe, I chose eating alone. (laugh-out-loud).

So, I finished my Lineage 2 download after FIFTEEN hours last night. I finally logged on this morning and had to leave for school. The cool thing is, I found out I get like 6 more holy pomanders. Maybe more, I didn't count. I can also get the heal skill Balance Life for my EE sub. I'm so excited about that. I'm wondering, though, if I'm able to go to Ivory Tower still to do that, or if I have to go to the museum. This would be nice to know, since I do guides for EOgamer. I guess I'll figure it out. I am only level 81 on my duelist right now, and since I have conferences tonight I won't be able to do much until later on. A friend and I are hoping on getting a Giant's Cave group together, since he's around 81 as well. My Doomcryer is only 80 yet, so hopefully this weekend will be fruitful.

I have to stop now, but I will post later, more on the GoD update.